you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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