..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
