Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
