Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize