And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
