where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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