But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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