you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
