Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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