hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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