Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I checked into jail on foursquare
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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