I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
