dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize