Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
