He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
PANTIES FOUND
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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