we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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