i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
