i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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