Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
