Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
