Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize