She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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