I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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