also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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