So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
