hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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