this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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