I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
