I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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