and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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