I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
