If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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