And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
