Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
