yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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