I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
