I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
