by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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