I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
