just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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