I'm going to rape someone's good day.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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