I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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