I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize