I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
