anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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