I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
