P.S. I can't hear my feet
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
