fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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