The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
