I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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