I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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