I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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