I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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