Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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