It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
