your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
