Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
