Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize