Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
