Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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