i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
As shirtless as possible
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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