this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize