Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
