Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
