I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
