i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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