So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
